Right-to-Life Fetishists

There’s no arguing with your genuine right-to-life fetishist. That quietly confident self-righteous expression they tend to wear, even in repose, exists because blindly defending the sanctity of life, regardless of the cost to the nation or the adverse effect it might have on decent hardworking folk allows them, so they believe, to occupy the moral high round. Bollocks!

The Grumpy Team, naturally, respect everybody’s personal views/convictions. We don’t, however, feel anybody has the right to expect the cost related to the imposition of their own loony personal views/convictions to be born by those who don’t share them. So, immediately after having seized power, we’re going to delight everybody by introducing our slightly controversial You-Want-It-You-Pay-For-It initiative. The names of right-to-life-fetishists who ‘volunteer’ to pay all costs incurred whilst attempting to impose their wretched views/convictions upon the nation will be recorded in a massive Register.  To ensure their name appears in the Register ‘volunteers’ have merely to complete a simple form authorizing the Grumpy Team to periodically transfer unlimited sums of money from their personal accounts into the Grumpy’s totally non-transparent Lichtenstein-based You-Want-It-You-Pay-For-It escrow account. Right-to-life-fetishists featured in the Register will be absolutely delighted because they can claim for themselves the exclusive right and privilege of continuing to financially support their very silly views/convictions for the rest of their lives. Those not featured (the majority) will also be delighted because the deeply held views/convictions of the loony minority won’t cost them a penny. Chances are, those deeply held loony views/convictions will become infinitely less deeply held immediately it sinks in that they’re gonna have to  personally pay any and all consequential losses incurred by the nation for having to observe them  – and all compensation payments to decent hardworking folk whose inalienable rights might have been compromised.