Dispensing justice in a fair and cost-effective manner can best be achieved by ignoring common sense and fair play, insisting the letter rather than the spirit/intent of the law must be observed at all times and allowing fat-fingered lawyers to advise liars, thieves, cheats and villains how to escape justice on a technicality. Bollocks!

The Problem –Literalist judge Lord Tenterden stipulated, in the 19th century, that the letter rather than the spirit/intent of the law should be followed, "Regardless of the consequences." A major consequence is that certain members of the legal profession now trouser huge amounts of cash advising liars, thieves, cheats and villains how to escape justice on a technicality and all decent hardworking folk are losing faith in a society which supports a justice system that excludes common sense and fair play.

Unfortunately, given the legal profession's position as one of the nations most influential and accomplished lobbyists (they're drinking pals and/or personally related to virtually everybody who walks the corridors of power) the arrangement looks set to remain unchanged for another couple of hundred years. Dimwitted members of the Apathetic Majority are either totally unaware of the cost/damage being inflicted upon the Nation by this arrangement or have been brainwashed into thinking it's an acceptable and irreversible part of our national heritage.

The Grumpy’s Solution – Immediately after seizing power we'll be introducing a slightly controversial new Victims Before Villains law that will ensure lawyers are able to quickly determine the guilt or innocence of defendants on the basis of common sense and fair play as well as the letter of the law. It's an initiative that will swiftly gain their eager support because it's based upon them being denied gainful employment unless they're able to swiftly demonstrate their eager support.

Fat-fingered lawyers evidencing difficulty or reluctance to properly apply the new law will be referred to the Grumpy Team's 'Hate the Guts of Anybody Referred to Them' committee. Those found wanting will be rushed to one of the Grumpy's politically incorrect Subterranean Centres of Excellence for observation/therapy.