In the 19th century literalist judge Lord Tenterden, in an effort to reduce the number of court decisions being appealed, stipulated that the letter rather than the spirit of the law should be followed, ”Regardless of the consequences.” A major consequence is that certain members of the legal profession who believe ‘it’s the role of any good lawyer to find breaches in the law and exploit them’ are now busy trousering huge fees for helping louts, villains and homicidal maniacs avoid justice and/or claim compensation simply by demanding the letter rather than the spirit or intent of the law must be applied at all times. Unfortunately, given the legal profession’s position as one of the nation’s most influential and accomplished lobbyists (they’re drinking pals and/or personally related to virtually everybody who walks the corridors of power) the situation looks set to remain unchanged for another couple of centuries unless somebody challenges them. But nobody, other than the Grumpy Old Men Political Party, have any intention whatsoever of challenging them.

Greed, envy and other unmentionables lurk within most of us, just waiting to be released, but most of us didn’t release them until 1999 when fat-fingered lawyers craftily imported the compensation scam plaguing the USA into Britain by way of The Access to Justice Act. It was presented as a respectable instrument for justice by the Establishment but was quickly seized by ambulance-chasing representatives of the legal profession to offer no-win no-fee arrangements to anybody with half a chance of receiving a generous out of court compensation settlement for damages, real or imagined. Quentin Letts said, in February 2009, that he’d attempted, without success, to identify who had actually been responsible for introducing the no-win no-fee legislation into Britain. That’s appalling, isn’t it? Anyway, we’ll repeal the 1999 Access to Justice Act and substantially reduce both the level of compensation awards to claimants and the fees claimed by lawyers.

It would be nice if Britain were able to peacefully accommodate all cultures. That doesn’t, of course, mean allowing small groups of discontented extremists to use our liberal laws to their advantage and our disadvantage.

Nobody but a few politically correct fuck-wets gave a rat’s arse about political correctness until a few overly sensitive farts and fartesses began to champion the cause of a few overly sensitive minority groups. Then some very greedy lawyers spotted the amount of money being trousered whenever political correctness and compensation were mentioned in the same breath and promptly transformed a minor malady into a major disaster. The nation’s lunaticPCfringe are now able, simply by donning the politically correct mantle and playing the racist, feminist or human rights card to humble and possibly ruin those who once used to deride/scorn them.

We’ll ensure our children can read, write, calculate and properly speak the Queen’s English when they leave school. We’ll stream them into classes that reflect their ability to learn. We’ll support the judicious use of corporal punishment and ensure teachers possess the knowledge, ability, authority and desire to properly control a classroom of children. And we’ll dispense with classroom assistants. Mildly disruptive children will be caned and/or temporarily removed from their classrooms. Serial disrupter’s will be expelled without appeal and relocated temporarily or permanently in day release or residential Borstal type schools staffed by teachers capable of dealing with children displaying learning or behavioural difficulties. We’ll support grammar schools, re-introduce technical colleges and apprenticeships and dispense with the concept that everybody must have a university education. Headmasters will be given powers to monitor and fast track the removal of incompetent teachers. Teachers will not be suspended unless a clear-cut case for disciplinary action exists. Action will be taken against children and their parents who make false allegations against teachers. Children will learn to respect teachers, authority figures and themselves and be made aware that rights and freedoms have to be earned.

There’s nothing wrong with our human rights laws other than the fact too many fat-fingered lawyers and their clients are using and abusing them to avoid justice and make outrageous and/or spurious claims for compensation. It’s costing the business community £billions every year in litigation costs, lost production time and the salaries/fees paid to the army of human resource specialists who now have to be employed to deal with the many and varied complexities of these laws. Human rights issues are the cause of an incalculable reduction in the level of goodwill and loyalty that once existed between employers and employees and have contributed significantly to the difficulties experienced by decent hardworking folk attempting to secure a job – especially women.

It might, at first sight, appear to be in the interests of government and business for everybody to spend (and borrow) ever-increasing amounts of money each year. It isn’t. Britain’s level of indebtedness is ruining lives, weakening our economy and exposing us to the whims of other stronger and possibly hostile nations. The GOMPP will transform Britain into the sort of winner that doesn’t depend on everybody having to go deeper and deeper into debt every year.

The Lying Mad-Dog Media, supported by big business are, unquestionably, the most powerful and most influential minority group in the land. They possess the money, the contacts, the talent and the know-how to manipulate the tiny little minds of the public in whatever direction they consider to be in their best interests. The Grumpy Old Men Political Party will persuade the Lying Mad-Dog Media it’s in their best interests to reverse their propaganda machine and create role models who will extol the virtues of honesty, compassion, honour, respect, loyalty and the work ethic.

Nobody is going to disagree about the need to curb antisocial binge drinking. The Grumpies will curb it by ending round-the-clock drinking, stopping clubs and supermarkets selling cheap booze, imposing meaningful fines on all drunks requiring hospital treatment and meaningfully punishing those who physically assault hospital staff.

Louts, villains and young hooligans are, mostly, decent folk who have been duped by the self-appointed protectors of our human rights and freedoms into believing antisocial behaviour and/or a life of crime to be an exciting, rewarding and pain-free occupation. Few of these potentially rotten apples in the nation’s barrel are inherently evil. They’re just bored. Wrecking their immediate environment and frightening little old ladies is what they do to keep themselves occupied/amused. Exposure to our ever-so-caring but totally merciless new Attila-the-Hun style regime of fear, pain, terror, deprivation and death, will swiftly dispel all thoughts of crime being a pain free occupation.

Drug addicts desperate to finance their habit are responsible for over half of all property crime in the UK. Total crime, health and other social costs of heroin and cocaine use in England and Wales in 2003/04 was considered to be in the region of £17 billion. Serious steps must be taken to reduce the number of people whose lives, directly and indirectly, are being ruined by drugs.

Britain is an island with limited resources. We have no option other than to compete with other nations and win (or at least not lose). Unfortunately, Britain has a benefit-dependent culture that discourages the work ethic and limits our ability (our desire even) to compete. The Socially Challenged have long-since spotted they can make more money by staying at home than by going to work, particularly if they can make a few extra quid on the side robbing crippled old ladies and selling drugs etc. Work-shy parasites, liars, thieves and cheats flagrantly play the benefit system to their advantage and the taxpayer’s disadvantage. Young girls are encouraged to have children and live off the state. And the rest of the world beats a path to our welcoming door for a bite of our overly generous benefit cherry. That must all change.

It’s good, overall, that society has changed and moved on but everybody knows that in so doing we have lost something of real value that existed when the family unit was closer, more committed and more supportive of one another. We’ll attempt to regain and retain some of the values that have been lost.

Immigrants should be applauded and admired for having the guts and the good sense to leave home and travel the world seeking a better job/life for themselves and their families. They’re an object lesson to all the fit and healthy Brits who prefer to sit at home and continue to live off the state rather than seek work further afield. The Grumpy Old Men Political Party will, however, take steps to ensure illegal immigrants and bogus asylum seekers are identified and swiftly returned from whence they came without incurring the time, effort and £millions in legal fees so beloved by our politicians and lawyers. Human rights immigration laws which have somehow managed to paralyse our politicians and judges will be challenged by us to the limit and beyond.

It isn’t possible for teachers to properly teach, or children to properly learn, in a classroom constantly disrupted by young hooligans who know their rights – especially those familiar with the fact that nobody in authority will dare attempt to forcibly control them for fear of ending up in court with their careers put on hold or in shreds. Children, rightly so, despise teachers and society at large for lacking the authority and the resolve to meaningfully punish them. None of us want our children to be physically punished but, given the appalling level to which their classroom behaviour has sunk since corporal punishment was abolished and the detrimental effect this is having upon the learning process, perhaps we should all stop indulging our own (very selfish) finer feelings and do what has to be done to ensure our children aren’t being deprived of a proper education. Even the most dim-witted amongst us know that most children want, need and expect parents and teachers to introduce them to, and painfully reinforce, a set of reasonable ground rules (boundaries) they readily understand and know must be obeyed. When they break those rules, as all good kids with an ounce of spirit in them will occasionally do, they expect to be meaningfully punished. Young rebels without a cause who consistently break the ground rules will be removed to a Grumpy Centre of Learning where they’ll come to appreciate that rights have to be earned and the rights of others have to be respected. Ineffectual parents and teachers unable to control or gain the respect of their young charges will also attend a Grumpy Centre of Learning.

We’ll guarantee vicious murderers and those who commit unacceptable acts of violence against innocent members of the public never repeat the offence – and save £billions by not having to accommodate any of them in our overcrowded jails. Those who believe capital punishment won’t save lives are clearly unaware that, according to the Parliamentary Under-Secretary of State Lord West of Spithead (Lords Hansard text 18th June 2008), the lives of 116 people were extinguished between 1963 and 2007 by murderers released from jail after having served their sentence. And that figure doesn’t include who knows how many more victims  – killed by released felons who have yet to be caught/convicted.

There are those amongst us who appear to think it’s OK to be cruel to defenceless animals. The Lying Mad-Dog Media will assist us in making everybody aware from an early age that it isn’t OK; that all decent folk are universally appalled by such cowardly acts of cruelty upon defenceless animals and that those who engage in such sickening behaviour will be punished in a manner which reflects the full weight of society’s sense of disgust and revulsion for such acts.