The Grumpy Old Men Political Party

13th Jan 11

pstokes — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 12:08:08 +0000

Friday 13th January 2012 – Education Secretary Michael Gove wanted to say: ”Useless, incompetent teachers will be booted into touch so quickly their feet won’t touch the ground.” What he actually said, in order to properly observe the hypocritical crap-speak required by the politically correct, and keep his job was: “Schools need to be able to dismiss more quickly those teachers who, despite best efforts, do not perform to the expected standard. Future employers also need to know more about the strengths and weaknesses of teachers they are potentially employing.” The Grumpy Team agree but the teaching unions are, of course, demanding that the nation must put the interests of their members, no matter how incompetent, before the proper education of our children. They consider Gove’s measures to be totally unnecessary, draconian even, and intend to “vigorously” oppose what they consider to be a bully’s charter for evil headmasters. Bollocks! Truth is, what we are witnessing here is yet another blatant example of an influential minority group wilfully pursuing their own totally selfish objectives to the detriment of all decent hardworking folk – and an Apathetic Majority who continue to sit on their arses and let them get away with it.

10th Jan 11

pstokes — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 12:15:50 +0000

Tuesday 10th January 2012 – Scottish first minister Alex Salmond announced his decision to hold a referendum in the autumn of 2014 on independence for Scotland. He sincerely believes that all decent hardworking Scots will benefit from being independent. Bollocks! Truth is, the sudden shock of occupying a prestigious position that allowed him to mingle with quality folk above his station has blown poor Alex’s mind. And now he doesn’t give a shit about anything other than soaking up lots more of the same sort of heady stuff. No problem. The Grumpy Team will, discretely and ever-so-caringly, have him put down.

5th Jan 11

pstokes — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 12:19:57 +0000

Thursday 5th January 2012 – Diane Abbott sent a tweet saying, amongst other things, that ’white people love to divide and rule.’ Demands for Diane’s resignation were instantly made from the more seriously deranged. Politically correct fuck-wets infesting the Lying Mad-Dog Media immediately crawled from beneath their stones to demand (and receive) lengthy apologies from our nothing-better-to-do-with-their-time political leaders. Fat-fingered lawyers, trembling with ill-concealed excitement at the prospect of trousering a few extra quid, joyfully discussed the prospect of burying Diane in racist litigation on behalf of any white person prepared to lie on oath about the extent to which their lives had been financially blighted by Diane’s life-threatening awfully racist remarks. And the 4,000 little Munchkins who are about to die today in abject misery, poverty, filth, and extremes of loneliness and pain in some godforsaken shit-heap somewhere in the world have all sent sincere condolences to every prick and prickesses in Britain to whom this sort of crapshit is important.

28th Dec 2011

pstokes — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 11:29:18 +0000

Wednesday 28th December 2011 – Cameron is now talking tough about introducing a minimum price by which alcohol can be sold. This will prevent thousands of binge-drinkers and obese folk from dying prematurely each year from alcohol poisoning. Bollocks! Truth is, alternative sources of booze will easily be located or created. No problem. The Grumpy Team’s solution will be to target the drunks, not the drink. Binge-drinkers who make a nuisance of themselves will be whisked off and treated to some very disagreeable aversion therapy in a Grumpy Subterranean Centre of Excellence. Fat-fuckers will be given the opportunity to ’volunteer’ to serve time on The Grumpy Wheel.
Note: More than a million people were admitted to hospital this year for drink-related problems. It’s costing the taxpayer £billions.

24th Dec 2011

pstokes — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 07:46:30 +0000

Saturday 24th December 2011 – Everybody knows the business community must be encouraged to create new jobs and wealth to help our failing economy. So, one can safely assume our government will be doing everything and more to encourage the nation’s job and wealth creators. Bollocks! The reverse is true. Civitas, an independent think tank, has today revealed that the burden on businesses attempting to comply with last year’s Equality Act will actually hold back Britain’s growth and cost jobs. Yet another example of how The Equality and Human Rights Commission, whilst blindly pursuing its politically correct equality, diversity and rights without responsibility crusade, is burying our business community in bureaucratic regulations.
No problem. The Grumpy will decommission the EHRC.

12th Dec 11

pstokes — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 18:21:15 +0000

Monday 12th December 2011 - The Financial Services Authority finally presented their 452-page report about how the taxpayer came to assume some £50 billion pounds worth of liabilities when the Royal Bank of Scotland collapsed. Although the nation has been privy to (and been sickened by) the unsurpassed levels of blatant irresponsibility and greed on the part of City fat cats, the Enforcement Division of the FSA concluded: “There were not grounds for bringing enforcement actions which had a reasonable chance of success.” In other words, despite City fat cats being largely to blame for bringing our economy to a virtual standstill, none of these wolves in sheep’s clothing will ever be brought to justice. The legal profession effectively guarantees them immunity from prosecution by insisting, as they’ve successfully been doing for generations, that the letter of the law must be given preference over the spirit/intent of the law. FSA Chairman Adair Turner said: “The fact that no individual has been found legally responsible for the failure begs the question: if action cannot be taken under existing rules, should not the rules be changed for the future?” No problem. The Grumpy Team’s slightly controversial new ‘Intent’ law isn’t just an additional law; it presages a sea change destined to prevent that most influential of money-grubbing minority groups, the legal profession, from using and abusing our laws to their advantage and the nation’s disadvantage.

7th Dec 2011

pstokes — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 07:56:14 +0000

Wednesday 7th December 2011 – It was revealed today that thousands of workers on the public sector payroll aren’t working for the public at all – they’re actually union representatives whose salaries (nearly £113 million annually) are being paid by the taxpayer. This revelation was clearly a huge shock to our political fraternity. Bollocks! Truth is, everybody but the Apathetic Majority have been aware of this ‘arrangement’ for years. This bizarre accommodation is yet another example of how influential minority groups get to be so influential. The £113 million the unions save in salaries enable them to prop up the Labour Party and still have plenty left over to buy their way into the corridors of power where they can pursue their own totally selfish agenda by persuading, threatening or bribing all the other power-crazed maniacs.

5th Dec 2011

pstokes — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 12:49:52 +0000

Monday 5th December 2011 – The Guardian newspaper and their left-wing chums at the London School of Economics would have us believe that poverty was the principal cause of the August 2011 riots. So they selected 270 rioters who would agree with them and produced a totally unbiased report confirming that poverty was the principal cause of the riots. Bollocks! Truth is, there were all manner of reasons that precipitated those riots, all of them obvious. However, the biggest and most obvious reason was the fact that all villains, louts and juvenile snots experience, rightly so, nothing but utter contempt/scorn for parents, teachers and society at large for lacking the sense or the balls to keep them in line with a range of meaningful punishments. No problem. I don’t anticipate our ever-so-caring but totally merciless new fear, pain, terror, deprivation and death regime will cause all young rebels-without-a-cause to want to become model citizens overnight but I can promise you most of them will think twice before taking to the streets – and all of them will evidence considerably more respect for parents, teachers, our Boys and Girls in Blue and society at large.

5th Dec 2011

pstokes — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 12:48:10 +0000

Monday 5th December 2011 – An unbelievable 66% of those participating in the August 2011 riots have been identified as requiring special education needs. 33% said they’d willingly participate in any further riots. 49% said they didn’t feel part of British society. Many said they were angry about perceived social and economic injustice, lack of jobs, benefit cuts, increased university fees and the closure of youth services. Clearly, the tens of £billions of taxpayer’s money currently allocated to their education and welfare needs just aren’t enough. They need more. Much more. But there ain’t any more. And anyway, the British taxpayer wouldn’t allow it even if there were. Realistic alternatives must be considered. No problem. Responsible members of the political elite and the well-intentioned farts and fartesses who pull their strings now recognise how desperate is the situation; that they must swiftly introduce a number of initiatives – each and every one of which will undoubtedly put the living shits up all the nation’s bleeding heart equality, diversity and rights without responsibility extremists. Bollocks! Truth is, they haven’t and they won’t.

2nd 12 2011

pstokes — Sat, 03 Dec 2011 18:16:33 +0000

Friday 2nd December 2011 – I briefed a solicitor earlier in the week to buy a property. Today I received a package from them that contained, amongst other things, instructions that had to be met in order to meet Money Laundering requirements. They included me having to personally attend their offices with a company registration certificate, a list of names and addresses of my co-directors and certified copies of theirs and my passports along with current utility bills. That procedure is duplicated millions of time all over Britain as honest folk go about their everyday business. These procedures will ensure criminals don’t get to spend their ill-gotten gains and/or will help to identify and arrest them. Bollocks! Truth is, any self-respecting criminal able to make off with hundreds of thousands of pounds is more than capable of circumnavigating any obstacle dreamed up by some civil servant prick or prickess with nil experience of how the criminal mind works. Worse, applying these Money Laundering procedures is damaging our economy by reducing the speed and increasing the cost of every transaction. And who knows how many extra forests are being decimated to generate copies of all this extra stuff or how many more warehouses have to be built to store it. Something else. These procedures are preventing £trillions of bent money from being recirculated within the public arena. Criminals aren’t attempting to use their ill-gotten gains to increase their net worth (and create more jobs) by investing in profitable construction and manufacturing projects, they’re salting it away in non-perishable investments like diamonds and works of art or secreting it in the vaults of offshore banks for a rainy day – safe but not adding value to anything for anybody.

No problem. The Grumpy Team will give the economy a kick-start and swiftly create thousands of new jobs by scrapping all this Money Laundering paperwork nonsense. Big-time criminals are always going to be with us. Why shouldn’t they be allowed to make a contribution to the economy? I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t end up paying more taxes on their profits than the fat-cat villains currently running our major companies – and give more generously to charity.