Greed, envy and other unmentionables lurk within most of us, just waiting to be released, but most of us didn't release them until some time after 1999 when fat-fingered lawyers craftily imported the compensation scam plaguing the USA into Britain by way of The Access to Justice Act. It was presented as a respectable instrument for justice by the establishment but was quickly seized by ambulance-chasing representatives of the legal profession to offer no-win no-fee arrangements to anybody with half a chance of receiving a generous out of court compensation settlement for damages, real or imagined.
Unfortunately, the easy money to be gained by making claims for compensation hasn't just made the day for work-shy liars, thieves, cheats and lawyers, it's polluted the tiny little minds of the British public. Hardly surprising. If those we expect to set the standard and level of society's morality and conduct, such as the doyens of respectability in the legal profession, can be seen blatantly dipping their greedy snouts into the trough and exploiting the law for their own pecuniary gain it must surely be OK for the rest of us to attempt to do the same. Mustn't it?
Either way, the compensation culture has finally forced the Genie out of the bottle. Greed and envy are now in the public domain and humanity's disgusting unmentionables are hung on the line for all to see. And what an ugly depressing sight they all are. What chance respect, for ourselves or for others, now everybody can see what pathetic, lying, thieving, cheating, selfish, hypocritical, money-grubbing little shits and shitesses we all are.
No Problem. Immediately after having seized power the Grumpies will repeal the 1999 Access to Justice Act and substantially reduce levels of compensation awards to claimants. We'll also invite the loonyPCfringe and their fat-fingered friends to take centre stage at our slightly controversial new Grumpy Whack a Wanker Week. This will be a fun week chock-full of opportunities to expose all of them for the contemptible creatures they really are. A Whack a Wanker Week Register will be maintained in villages and cities throughout the land and for one glorious week each year (possibly more) those whose names appear in The Register will all be soundly thrashed and humiliated on the nation's many and varied village greens.
Note – The Grumpy Team isn't waiting until after having seized power before we action this popular initiative. Names are already being entered into The Register. Decent hardworking folk should now start to compile their own lists in readiness for the big day.
